Confessions of a bad Blogger

Hey there!

Remember me?
No?
Really?

I’m that blogger who sometimes watches James Bond movies, occasionally reads a book or two but more often then not, blogs about random things because I really have no idea what I really want to blog about.

Ring any bells?
No?

Damn.

Well, not to worry, I’m here now and I’m writing a blog, which is something. Hell, just typing the title was an achievement for me today. No seriously, I haven’t even been able to consider writing a blog since the beginning of the year and that’s a horrible feeling.

My semi-legitimate, semi-ridiculous, reason for not being able to blog has something to do with the fact that I have zero time and zero energy (doesn’t help that I have zero things to write about…)

For all those who don’t know, I’ve been studying for a diploma of some kind that will allow me to partake in some sort of work or something. Vague I know. The point is I’ve been so busy spending time on assignments, in lectures, in tutorials, racking up some workplace experience hours and maintaining my part time job that I have little time to do much else. Seriously, I hardly have time to sleep!

I will take this moment to have a small vent about my university, but basically they changed the course I’m in but forgot to change certain aspects of it; so it is now expected that we do 28 hours of work in a 24 hour time period. Basically. In it’s simplicity.

Today started my attempt to revamp my blog in order to motivate me into writing (I think it’s working?) I’m trying not to revamp it too much though; if you’ve been around from the beginning, you know that a revamp usually means a complete overhaul of my blog and I land up starting from scratch. Which I’m trying to avoid. I’m just trying to eliminate some of the clutter and make things a little bit more coherent. I apologise in advance for the inconvenience, but it’s a work in progress.

In the mean time. Yay for new ‘beginnings’?

Day Eleven: MEmeME!

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? Would it be something physically? Would it be a personality trait or something you have a habit of doing?

Today’s prompt tackles just that, except in reverse:

[Day 11]: What's one thing that you would never change about yourself?

I don’t like the question “What would you change about yourself” because it gives room for those insecurities to pop out and eat away at you like some sort of flesh-eating bacteria. People are so quick to focus on all the negative attributes that they never seem to focus on the positive. I am guilt of doing this, all-the-time. My waist line isn’t small enough, my skin isn’t clear enough, my hair isn’t long enough, my nose is too big and so on and so forth, I’m pretty sure you get the gist of it. So often I watch ridiculous TV shows where girls argue why they want plastic surgery and why they aren’t perfect; this is such a negative way to think about things and I for one am trying ridiculously hard to change this, well, I am now.

So if you haven’t taken part in the 15 Day Challenge (or even those who have) I’m setting the challenge that you need to make a list of the top 5 things you like about yourself physically AND 5 things you like about your personality. I suck at lists because I get to point 2 and then have run out of ideas, but as this is the challenge I’m setting, I’m going to do it first. These are the things that I like about myself and therefore would never change about myself.

Personality

1. I have an awesome sense of humour

2. My ridiculous level of empathy for the people around me

3. My ability to care for the world around me

4. My determination to be better at the things I attempt

5. My drive to achieve the goals I set

 

Physically

1. My Eyes

2. My Boobs

3. My Butt (when I’ve been working out)

4. My Calf muscles

5. My Wrists (yep, I like them)

Day Ten: Embarrass yourself!

So today’s prompt is:

[Day 10]: What is your most embarrassing moment?

and as is the case when anyone asks me this question, I freeze up and have a huge brain fail because I cannot recall my most embarrassing moment. It’s not like I haven’t had thousands of embarrassing moments, I just can’t recall them when I need to and when I don’t need to remember them – they sneak up on me and surprise me. Thanks for that, brain! So what am I left with? The time I had one too many Sangria drinks in Spain, or the Attitude Adjusters that altered my state of mind in Venice? Or do I go with every first day of semester when I have to introduce myself to a whole new group of people and my face turns bright red with embarrassment?

To be quite honest, I can’t nail down one particular memory because there are far too many of them and like I said, my brain saves those memories for the moments where I really don’t need to be thinking of cringe-worthy things that I’ve done. So instead of talking about a particular memory, I’m going to try and talk about these embarrassing moments in general.

Throughout my life, there have been moments that have been varying degrees of embarrassing. The moments where you want to cringe or the moments where you just want to hide under a rock and never emerge. When I was 4 or 5, I remember being at a friends house and being so scared to use their bathroom because I was scared of my friends older brother, that it resulted in a very wet accident. I can assure you there was nothing sinister going on, people just scare me. That was one of the times you just never want to think about but occasionally pops into your head just to screw with you a bit. There are also those times that were alcohol induced but you can still remember them as clear as day and it doesn’t help that there is photographic evidence, those moments are especially devilish because even though you can blame it on the alcohol, there’s still no escaping that it was you and you really did dance on a table for fun.

 

Oh look, I’ve already managed to rattle off two embarrassing stories for you. But like I keep saying, embarrassing moments are just that not necessarily because of how cringe worthy they are when you are in the moment, no, they are so frustrating because they tend to stick with you and that back of your mind, waiting for the right moment where you shouldn’t be thinking about them, and they just pop into yours mind. Like during job interviews, while your watching a movie or while your in the middle of a very serious situation.

Job Interviewer: “So Kerri, Why should we hire you”

Kerri’s mind: “OK PEOPLE, Play that movie of when Kerri crashed her ex-boyfriends car”

Kerri: “…*turns bright red and then starts to cringe*…”

That really did happen by the way, well not the interview, although there have been times where I have been sitting outside waiting to go in for an interview and something hilariously inappropriate enters my mind. But the car thing, really did happen.

Unfortunately right now, I can’t think of any more specific moments in my life where something has been super embarrassing, although I do know they exist and I do know they will pop up at the worst possibly time. The worst part about these memories is that they are very hard to get rid of, they are always going to be there and I’m always going to cringe when I remember them. Although some of them are hilarious, for people like me, the constant reminder of those moments is enough to make us cry and as that painful memory replays itself in our heads, we wish we could do anything to make it go away and to go back in time and relive the moment differently. But I guess at the end of the day, that’s life, embarrassing moments and all! Some are hilarious, some make us cringe and some make us want to run and hide, but they are just one more piece of evidence that we live lives that aren’t written out perfectly for us, we take each step and we enter each moment differently and sometimes those steps give us good memories, sometimes those steps give us bad memories and then all the other times get left in the “embarrassing moments” box waiting like a jack-in-the-box to be let out when we “need” them the most.

Day Nine: Best day so far…

Day Nine already, I’ve almost caught up entirely! Today’s prompt is:

[Day 9]: Tell us the best day of your life to date.

In all seriousness, how can you pick one? I’m not ever 25 yet and I have so many of the greatest days every! So in honour of my upcoming 25th birthday, I’m going to give you the top 25 days that I’ve had in my whole life, but of course – not in any particular order!

1. Meeting my Boyfriend. I was sitting at a cafe, he brought me a pink gerbera flower, it was beautiful!
2. Graduating High School! At the time it was incredibly stressful and I had to work my ass off to get my grades up.
3. Getting on a plane to fly to Europe. I was alone, it was a long way to travel and it was my first time travelling alone.
4. Being accepted into my University – something I had wanted for so long.
5. Waking up in a beautiful holiday cabin on my first holiday with my boyfriend.
6. The day I got my school captain badge in Primary School.
7. Seeing Cirque Du Soleil for the first time…and the second time.
8. The time I got to ski down a mountain by myself without ski-poles.
9. Going to Philip Island with my Boyfriend
10. Going to Queensland with my Boyfriend
11. Hiking Mount Snowdon in the UK
12. The day I was born  - of course!
13. The day I went bungee jumping twice
14. The day I saw my grandmother for the first time in a ridiculously long time.
15. Going back and seeing my old primary school.
16. The day I got my drivers license.
17. When I got my braces off.
18. When my sister was brought home from the hospital.
19. All the days I spent any my grandmothers house (South Africa).
20. The day I ran my first fun run.
21. The first time I went to Lindale Farm.
22. The day my boyfriend and I went to a drive in movie.
23. The days when I came back from travelling and mum would cook me a REAL meal.
24. The Christmas, when my parents got a long in order to give my sister and I great day.
25. My 15th Birthday.

Day Eight: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Today’s prompt is incredibly hard:

[Day 8]: Describe “The Good, the bad, and the Ugly” of yourself

Well, that’s complicated I guess. I really haven’t thought about that at all! Lets see how this goes!

 

{The Good} I’m a talented writer when I sit down and actually focus on what I want to write about. (When I have money of my own) I can be very generous. I’m an empathetic person. I can be stubbornly determine I have impeccable selective hearing   {The Bad} I get stressed easily. I can be stubborn. I don’t communicate well. I don’t ask for help. I blush easily which is only accentuated by a birthmark on my face which has a habit blazing red for no reason. I hold grudges. I have impeccable selective hearing. I’m a terrible judge of character although I’m adamant that I’m excellent at picking people. {The Ugly} I eat faster than the people I’m dining with. I can be impatient. I take constructive feedback personally. I can’t admit when I’m wrong. I have impeccable selective hearing.